How's this for an opening line?
   you can play with my wee at an appropriate time
   it's something that a lot of people like to do
   I think you would like to do it too
   it's easy to learn and I could show you how
   an appropriate time would be right about now
   first we have to clear enough space so no one will get hurt
   if your hand gets sweaty you can wipe it on your shirt
   don't grip too soft, nor too hard
   maintain control and try not to hit my nards

   Play with my wee
   wee!

   You're a quick learner and are doing well
   you're making me feel oh so swell
   I could learn a thing or two from your technique
   it's similar to mine but at the same time unique
   but you have to watch out on your backstroke
   or something might get broke
   ha ha, you're making me laugh
   the way you're wildly swinging that staff
                                                                       but at least we haven't put any holes in the walls
                                                                        you'll get bonass points if you eat those balls

                                                                        Play with my wee
                                                          wee!

                                                                        We're very near to the end
                                                                        but to get there you have to bend
                                                                        that always does the trick for me
                                                                        whenever I'm playing with my wee
                                                                        okay, to reach the final goal
                                                                        we have to put the magic pole into the sacred hole
                                                                        darn it, the pole doesn't seem to fit
                                                                        we'll have to try another position and keep working at it
                                                                        don't rush, just take your time
                                                                        keep stroking until you see the white slime
                                    
                                                                        Play with my wee
                                                         wee!